Death of the Former Self

After the death of my former self, I sought refuge in all that had aided in the death of the former self. The former self had proven to be a limitation and a deterrent of the current self, and so, their death had become inevitable. Ironically, after the battle that had lead to the death of the former self, I had sought refuge in the places in which the former self previously inhabited. How strange that the current self still acted in courtesy, or rather instinctively, in reference to the former self.

Oftentimes men who come up the rough side of the mountain tend to have to shed their old self in order to keep advancing forward. This often comes out of necessity, they see that the current self is not sufficient in aiding their war against their current life situation, and so, they put their former self to rest and claim a new birth in the current self. Doing this is no easy feat, in releasing the former self one not only relinquishes the negative aspects of the former self, but the positives aspects of the former self also become collateral damage in this heavy war.

For one to come to the conclusion that death of the former self and birth of the new is the only answer they typically believe that there are no other options. Though it may seemingly be the best option, this is often a grueling and overly consuming process. It drains men of energy and fatigues their minds in ways never before imaged. Within war there are often many deaths ruled as collateral damage. In our particular case here, let’s say that one has deemed their kindness a weakness that has allowed others to walk all over them and attracted disrespect. In this case, men will decide to kill off their kindness and adopt a more ruthless approach to dealing with people. In doing this, one also kills the part of themselves that drew people in, the part of them that attracted many good and positive people in their life. So, as one puts the negative aspects of the former self to rest, they also relinquish the positive aspects that the former self attained.

The realization that the good and positive aspects of the former self are gone often comes at a cost. One may lose relationships, have difficulty dealing with new people, and overall social ineptitude within their new self.

It may sound as if all hope is lost, but I would argue diffidently. The death of the former self came from a deep desire to change one’s current life situation, so I would suggest that men take a deep look into what it is that they truly desire: is it the complete annihilation of the former self or is it the ability to manage and control certain aspects of oneself? Given the consequences and collateral damage that are incurred after releasing the former self, I would say the most men would argue that they simply want control of that which has acted as a limitation to the current self. Acquiring control would allow one to shed negative aspects of the former self and fully embrace the positive and good that the former self had cultivated.

Oftentimes the death of the former self is an extreme reaction in response to the overwhelming forces of ones current life situation. To combat extremes we may believe that we ought to respond in kind, but at times it is best to respond with gentleness. This is the same gentleness that aids in securing control of the positive and good of the former self, all the while destroying the negative aspects of the former self. Ask yourself again, do you want the death of the former self to occur, incurring all the collateral damage, or do you want to control aspects of the former self and utilize the cultivated good from the former self?